Decisions
by max3213
Summary: Time is a one-way street. No matter how much you want to, you can't go back in time. Similarly, the decisions you made can't be changed, no matter how much you wish to correct your past. You can't erase your errors and erase your embarrassment moments. I'm truly aware of that. Yet, I can't help but think how things could've been if I made different decisions.


**_Hey, guess who wrote a new story! ^_^_**

 ** _Readers: *Facepalm*_**

 ** _W-What? What did I do this time?_**

 _ **Readers: Is about what you haven't done.**_

 _ **Y-Yeah, I know and while iIm not proud of my really irregular update schedule, I've been trying my best to deliver!**_

 _ **Readers: (T_T)**_

 _ **W-Well, maybe not my best but I have other hobbies!**_

 _ **Readers: (T_T)**_

 _ **Okno. But I tend to get sidetracked into writing other stories in my folder that I tend to forget my current ones.**_

 ** _Anyway, I have brought you a new story, a little different from 'HH is different' (lol)._**

 ** _As always, I hope you like this story._**

* * *

 _ **Prologue: "Whacky Dreams."**_

I slowly opened my eyes, which was a little difficult because of how illuminated the room was. "Nn…" I groaned, covering my eyes with my arm. "Who turned the light on?" I whined, half-asleep, as I stirred.

Eh? I don't remember my room being this annoyingly illuminated. In fact, I don't remember my room being having any light at all. I made sure that it had the least illumination as much as it was possible.

I am a creature of darkness, a night owl.

Light and the sunshine only made my eyes hurt and drained my energy. They fueled my desire to stay at home and do nothing.

Light and Sunrays only fueled my desires to stay at home and be a useless person to society.

Light is god, Light is evil, light is a pain in the butt.

I yawned as I rubbed my eyes. I can feel how some kind of invisible force is pressuring me to lie down or is it a magnetic force attracting me to the bed?

"What time is it…?" I slurred, with a half-lidden look. I scratched my head, wondering what day was today.

Judging by my insane level of tiredness and desire to do absolutely nothing, I could judge that today was Monday, the begging of the end. The day where life begun and life ended.

The day that everyone dreaded and universally hated, sans a few people, like hot-blooded people and other types of people.

I was one of those people above. I don't really hate Monday.

I hate every day of the week.

I briefly wondered if I was late to class but I shrugged that matter off. I don't really live that far from my Alma matter. At most, it would take me 10 minutes to reach there by foot.

The only thing that was mildly troublesome was the sermon my teacher would drop on me while the others quietly giggled and jabbed at me.

Nothing new. Besides, there's no physical punishment involved so it was a bonus.

God knows that I would have to visit the doctor to check for permanent injuries if I had to endure another year of abuse from Hiratsuka-sensei. I feel a small pang of pain as my body recalls her treatment.

Ugh, my body winces at the memory of her fist and kicks. She may not have educated my mind but is sure as hell that she did educate my body through her fists.

I slowly sat up on the bed, looking down with an apathetic look while rubbing my forehead. It's amazing how much can you think in a minute.

But I should stop wasting time and get ready already. Attendance may not be required but midterms are getting near, and I don't want to be the guy who is sitting at a desk.

It tends to attract attention, sometimes, I even wonder why-?

What's this?

I recall that my blanket is black to match the curtains, a vain attempt to be stylish in case I ever brought someone to my room. However, the blanket currently covering my legs was sea-blue.

Alongside that, I notice that I'm wearing pajamas instead of my usual white shirt and boxers. Odd, I consider pajamas for middle school brats and kids and I stopped using them around high school…

Eh, now that I also notice, this is not my room.

…

I should have probably started by that…

My eyes suddenly widened and my mouth hung a little.

Wait, wait, wait…This is not my room!

I glanced around and quickly recognized that this was not my room back at my department. This room was way bigger and more spacious than my small room back at my department. Back there, I was pleasantly surprised that there was space enough to breathe.

Talking about breaths, I breathed in, looking around, consternated at the whole situation. Ok, what happened yesterday?

…

Nothing happened yesterday! I never go out to anywhere except the convenience store; this is not some hung over film! I didn't get drunk and woke up inside a fleabag motel!

I can see that there are not immediately puzzles so is safe to assume that I was not kidnapped to participate in some kind of survival game either...

I blinked and a small sense of familiarity invaded me. Staring at the room a little more closely, a small pang of nostalgia invaded.

This was my room back at home when I lived with my parents. I was absolutely sure of that as I, after all, lived here for almost 20 years before becoming independent.

I sighed, dropping my shoulders a little. I could feel how the anxiety and fear slowly left my body at recognizing that there was no immediate danger.

Hum, maybe I'm in one of those so-called lucid dreams, where the dreamer is aware the whole scenario he is witnessing is just a figment of his fantasies.

And yet, I ask myself why High School of all times? Couldn't be a more pleasant time like…like…

Wait, did I ever had a pleasant time in my whole life?

Back at my childhood, no one wanted to play with me at the nursery because of my eyes. The other kids just cried when they crossed looks with me and I always was reprimanded by the elders, even though I didn't do anything but stare at them.

I was bullied in elementary school because of my eyes. They always called me Hikkifrog and baptized a disease with my name. Kids are truly cruel creatures when they put their mind on it.

I was ignored in Middle School because of my eyes. Mistaken as a creep, no one wanted to talk with me and they actively avoided me. It upgraded to laughing stock after I confessed my love to a female classmate, who while said that we could still be friends, gave me the cold shoulder whenever I was close.

Similarly, in High school, I was outright ignored by my peers, deemed as even less than air and when Hiratsuka-sensei signed me for the Service Club…

It got worse.

…

Now that I look back, I can safely assume that my eyes are the root of all my misfortune. Maybe getting rid of them would actually improve my life quality. However, why would I have to do that?

I'm fine the way I am. Besides, this is all pops fault.

If it wasn't for your shitty genes, I may have a more decent life!

Curse you, pops! Curse you and your shitty genes!

Anyway, what am I supposed to do here? I can't even fathom the reason I would remember these days, as nothing good happened around these times.

If I had to choose, I would rather have a dream where I'm transported to another world and begin my tale…

I never noticed but the Isekai Genre is slowly dying…

"Onii-chan~!" A sing-song voice called from the other side of the door, making me look at the brown door with trepidation.

I could feel a chill travel down my spine as I looked down my lap, with a small tic on my right eye as memories suddenly traveled inside my mind.

 _Why did you do that?! Why did you have to hurt them?!_

 _Why did you have to hurt yourself like that?!_

 _Why are you this way?!_

Unpleasant memories that I hated to recall.

The door suddenly slammed open as a known figure stood there, half-dressed with a stretched blue shirt that obviously belonged to me while her legs were bare.

"Oh, you're already awake." The short, bob-cut haired girl spoke in surprise. "Good morning, Onii-chan!" Komachi, my little sister greeted me with a boisterous smile.

I just stared at her, not sure what to feel right now.

For starters, I didn't share the enthusiasm she was displaying. It's Monday, for god sake.

And lastly…

She and I aren't on good terms anymore. In fact, I don't really recall talking with my family these days…or these months…

It may have been a year since the last time, hasn't it?

"Onii-chan?" Komachi called out, snapping me out of my thoughts. I turned at her with a unwelcoming expression, feeling unable to hide my discomfort.

"What?" My voice came out as a little forced and intense, making Komachi blink in response.

"What's with that…?" Komachi asked with a frown before her eyes widened. "Ah!" She hummed in realization. "Maybe you're a little nervous about your high school debut?" She asked with a cheeky grin.

I blinked at her words. First day of High School?

"Don't worry, Onii-chan!" Komachi supported with a reassuring smile. "These are high schoolers we're talking about! I'm sure if you don't act like a creep and don't smile, they will be able to see through your eyes!" She cheered with a good willed expression.

My eye twitched.

What are you saying, brat? Are you implying that I usually act like a creep? And is there something wrong with my smile?

…Well, I actually concede your point there; my smile is not like the 100 watts smile from Hayama, much less in league with the angelic Totsuka! In fact, if I smiled, the only thing I would accomplish would be disgusted looks and make present kids cry.

"Come on, what are you waiting for?!" Komachi inquired with a loud tone. "You're going to be late for your first day of high school!" She shouted as I heard her going downstairs. "You don't want people to think you're a delinquent with no respect for the law!" She finished with a teasing tone before I couldn't hear her voice anymore.

After that, I found myself alone in my room, staring at the open door with a quizzical look.

I don't really feel like going out today and since this is my dream, I can do whatever I want so I'm just gonna lie down and sleep.

And true to my decision, I lied down on my bed, resting my head on the pillow. After staring at the ceiling for a couple of minutes, I could feel my eyes getting a little heavy.

Right on time. As I closed my eyelids, I could muster a lone thought…

Fuck school.

.

.

.

I slowly opened my eyes, which was a little difficult because of how illuminated the room was. "Nn…" I groaned, covering my eyes with my arm. "Who turned the light on?" I whined, half-asleep, as I stirred.

Eh? I don't remember my room being this annoyingly illuminated. In fact, I don't remember my room being having any light at all. I made sure that it had the least illumination as much as it was possible.

I am a creature of darkness, a night owl.

Light and the sunshine only made my eyes hurt and drained my energy. They fueled my desire to stay at home and do nothing.

Light and Sunrays only fueled my desires to stay at home and be a useless person to society. L

Light is god, Light is evil, light is a pain in the butt.

I yawned as I rubbed my eyes. I can feel how some kind of invisible force is pressuring me to lie down or is it a magnetic force attracting me to the bed?

"What time is it…?" I slurred, with a half-lidden look. I scratched my head, wondering what day was today-

Wait. What is this feeling of Deja-vu?

What's going on?

Didn't I already explain this before?

I'm pretty sure I did, I'm not old enough to go senile, especially with such an uneventful life like mine. What's more important is that I'm still in my room back at home.

Oi, didn't I already ended this dream before?

"Onii-chan~!" A sing-song voice called from the other side of the door as I stared at the door. What the…?

The door suddenly slammed open as a known figure stood there, half-dressed with a stretched blue shirt that obviously belonged to me while her legs were bare.

"Oh, you're already awake." The short, bob-cut haired girl spoke in surprise. "Good morning, Onii-chan!" Komachi, my little sister greeted me with a boisterous smile.

I just blinked. Didn't I already dream about this before? I reiterate, I finished this dream, why am I still here?

More importantly, I have to wake up, brain. I have college.

Even if I don't really get along that well with my parents, they still kind of pay for my tuition. If they get wind of that I was skipping class, they would come right at my doorstep and eviscerate me.

My mom at least.

Oi oi, Didn't I already had this dream before? Why does my mind keep pestering me about my past?

Is past because of a reason. Mostly because they are things that happened already and time is a one-way street. You can't undo what already happened so stop reminding me about this.

"Onii-chan?"

"Hm?" I hummed, absentmindedly.

"It's time to go to school already!" Komachi warned with a bewildered look before dashing to the first floor. "You should get ready and head out before it's late!" She shouted from the hallway as I heard her steps going down the stairs.

I rested my head on the pillow and closed my eyes, waiting for reality to snatch me away from this dream as I idly thought that I should call home to see how they were doing.

Ok, this time for real, let's wake up.

.

.

.

I slowly opened my eyes, which was a little difficult because of how illuminated the room was. "Nn…" I groaned, covering my eyes with my arm. "Who turned the light on?" I whined, half-asleep as I stirred.

Eh? I don't remember my room being this annoyingly illuminated. In fact, I don't remember my room being having any light at all. I made sure that it had the least illumination as much as it was possible.

I am a creature of darkness, a night owl.

Light and the sunshine only made my eyes hurt and drained my energy. They fueled my desire to stay at home and do nothing.

Light and Sunrays only fueled my desires to stay at home and be a useless person to society. L

Light is god, Light is evil, light is a pain in the-

Fuck.

"Onii-chan~!" A sing-song voice called from the other side of the door as I just stared at the door, with a bewildered glare.

Why am I still here?!

Why is that cat looking at me?! Oh wait, that's Kamakura.

The door suddenly slammed open as a known figure stood there, half-dressed with a stretched blue shirt that obviously belonged to me while her legs were bare.

"Oh, you're already awake." The short, bob-cut haired girl spoke in surprise. "Good morning-!" Komachi, my little sister greeted me with a boisterous smile.

"What day is today?" I suddenly asked, cutting off Komachi who stopped, staring at me with a bewildered look.

'Why are you here?!' was what I wanted to ask but I managed to calm down, staring at her with a leveled look.

"Uh, it's your first day of school?" Komachi trailed off, looking at me with a puzzled look. "Did you forget already?"

I inhaled a hair of air as I tried to come to terms with my current situation, pinching the bridge of my nose with an annoyed look.

"So…Is there any-"

"There's nothing else to discuss." I cut her off again. I spoke with more intensity than I wanted but I couldn't help but feel immensely bitter at her.

I couldn't help but recall all of those annoying memories, the images picturing inside my mind like some kind of movie and I couldn't help but recall my last exchange with her.

I didn't want to look at her, even less hear her for the time being. "You may leave now and if it's not too much of a bother, could you close the door?" I demanded, not sparing a look at her way.

"O-Ok…" Komachi stammered, a little confused before closing the door with a robotically manner. "Geez, What's with him?" I heard her grumbling from outside before immersing myself in my thoughts.

I huffed. I never heard about a dream that repeated like this one. I'm aware that is a lucid dream but still, it quite annoys me that I have to remind my first day at high school.

It sure is annoying that I have to see this sight over and over so if my subconscious is asking me to do something, may as well get it over with and return to reality.

No matter how shitty it is, it's called reality for a reason. I would rather live in a world free of illusions, thank you very much.

Already decided, I stood up from my bed and rummaged through my drawers for clean underwear. I stared at the chair of my desk, where my 'new' uniform was neatly folded.

Good, it's nice to see that everyone is so neatly ordered from the get go. Thank you, past me!

I walked out of the room and headed to the bath. The first thing I looked after going inside was my reflection in the mirror above the sink. I unconsciously approached the mirror, staring at the face that was reflecting, seeing myself stare with a mix of stun and awe.

Time has not been kind to time.

Well, to be more accurate, I haven't been really kind to myself these days.

After entering college, I indulged myself in some unhealthy habits:

After the first year of college, I started smoking. At first, it was to see how relieving it was. After all, Hiratsuka-sensei was destroying her lungs because of a reason, right? Problem is, I ended up liking it more than I thought and I ended up as a chain smoker, unable to be calm without cigarettes.

I always claimed that I could stop whenever I wanted. Hah…

I also passed on cooking for myself and just bought junk food and indulged myself in my sweet addiction, MAX COFEE. Without parental supervision, I could drink it whenever I wanted without being reprimanded.

Life is so bitter so coffee should at least be sweet right?

However, even if MAX COFFEE did make my day a little more bearable, it didn't change the fact that it was 350 ml of pure sugar so drinking it daily didn't really help my case.

I also tended to pull all-nighters, whether it was to study or watch the last season's animes or fool around the internet, which made my eyes look more threatening and disgusting than before.

Yeah, my college life was going just as I expected.

With no friends and no girlfriend. A solitary victory.

However, in the face that was reflecting in the mirror, I couldn't see any of the aforementioned effects.

There were no dark circles or eye bags under my eyes. Just because I have seen worse, I could feel that my current eyes were more bearable than before.

"Aaaaaah…" I voiced before clearing my throat. My voice didn't sound coarse and raspy like it usually does because of the inflammations in my vocal cords product of chain smoking.

Even my skin looked better, feeling fair and having more color than before, probably because I used to go to middle school and thus, was forced to be exposed to sunlight.

I don't really know whether feel awe that this felt so realistic or regret at picking up those habits.

Well, even if I regretted them, that wouldn't magically make them disappear, right? I can't just go back to the past and tell myself to live a little healthier.

I can't go to the past and correct all the bad decisions I made and all the wrongful choices I took.

Life didn't just work that way.

I idly wondered if this was just a sick prank from my mind before proceeding to wash my face, teeth and fix my hair a little. Make myself presentable for my 'first day of High school'.

God, even thinking about it makes me twitch in disgust. High school aside, I'm really sure that the first day of school also signals the end of vacations, which is a martyr for all people, not just me.

Come to think about it, I always used to scribble things and plans that I wanted to do in summer, things like personal suppuration and stuff like that only to end watching TV while resting on the couch for all summer.

I chuckled. Those were good times.

After cleaning myself, I headed back to my room and put on the school uniform, which was composed of a white shirt, a black blazer, black pants and…

Huh, should I wore my tie? I actually never bothered in wearing it after my first week but seeing as today was the first day of school, I may be called out for not doing it.

I shrugged my shoulders.

A pleasant scent lingered on the uniform. The smell of something new, which made me realize something. I can't stomach the possibility that I honestly believed that something would go differently in High school. With my rapport as it is, I shouldn't have gotten my expectations up, thinking that I would have a normal school life like others did.

Hanging out with my friends to several places and confiding in them with whatever I wanted.

Chat with my classmates between breaks; Short and amicable chats about tests and projects while eating my lunch in class.

Maybe find a girlfriend with whom I could act lovey-dovey like all high schools did, walking while holding hands, hug ourselves and maybe even share a kiss.

However, nothing ever went that way. Probably for the best, because otherwise, I would have been living in complete ignorance about how the work truly works.

I sighed with a faraway look.

Youth is truly evil.

.

.

.

I trailed my hand over the wall as I walked downstairs, heading to the living room. As I stepped into said living room, I couldn't help but draw a surprised breath as I stared around.

Everything is just like I recall, which is little to nothing. I haven't been here in…2, 3 years, maybe?

However, for some reason, everything feels in place. The table, the chairs, the sofa, the TV…

A sense of 'right' invaded my body as I marveled at the sight. Perhaps this place was a little 'too' in place, too perfect to be a product of my mind…

Comprehensibly, there was no one but me in the house.

Mom and Pops were already at their respective jobs. Being the corporate slaves they were, they understandably left before we were even awake. The fact that they could move around the house without waking a light sleeper like me made me realize that 'Stealth Hikki was an inherited trait rather than a developed skill.

As usual, their absence was what felt in place rather than their presence. A little sad, actually, as they worked really hard to give us a roof over our heads, food on our table and a bed where to sleep.

It doesn't change that they could have been better parents, though.

I can also see Komachi's absence, which, unlike my parents, was noteworthy. She probably didn't feel in the mood to deal with me after that display of rudeness.

I can't blame her for that and neither can she blame me for treating her like that.

I didn't really felt hungry and there was no breakfast on the table, never mind the fact that this is a freaking dream so there was no need to eat, so let's just skip it.

I headed to the main door that leads to the outside and opened it, feeling a little overwhelmed by the sun and his rays blinding me.

Damn you, you overgrown star. Don't get cocky just because you bring us warm and light, in a few years, science will replace you!

I should probably go out more since it bothers me so much.

After getting accustomed to the light, I could see the old neighborhood.

Now that I think about it, I don't really remember any of my neighbors, probably because I have never seen them before…

…

Oh well. Looking at my trusty bike-chan lying in the entrance, I walked towards it and caressed its frame with a nostalgic smile.

Even in college, I had this thing accompanying me. My only comrade in the nightmarish level that was reality. My second player…

I sat on the saddle of the bike and started pedaling my way towards school.

While being caressed by the wind striking against my face, I realize that it's been a while since I biked. Even if I had my old bike with me at my department, there was really no use for it, seeing as how my place was near the college I went to, near enough to get there by footing.

However, while I was idly thinking about my current life, something came to my mind.

The wind caressing my cheeks, my hair being fluttered by air, the smell of the trees, the feeling of the bike's handles…

Isn't it a little too realistic? I never had a dream that felt this…real.

As I pondered my thoughts about this pseudo-reality I found myself immersed in, I heard a siren coming from the corner ahead. Paying close attention at the perpendicular street in front of me, an ambulance drove at full speed as it siren resounded on the place, notifying vehicles that there was a person injured and in the need of attention.

Hmmm… How odd. There's something…

There's a weirdness inside my head that I can't shake off, the feeling that something is misplaced. I could feel it because unlike at the house, where everything felt 'in place', outside, I feel out of place.

Something feels different.

A loud honk broke my train of thought. The hell, it sounded like a truck's horn but I didn't see-

I turned just right on time to see the front parachute of a white truck heading towards my way, a hair away from my person.

I didn't even have the time to scream in shock as I feel the metal colliding with the side of my body.

After that, everything just went black.

.

.

"AAAAAAAAAh!" I screamed on top of my lungs as I sat on the bed, gripping the sheets as if my life depended on. I could feel how cold sweat was trailing down my entire body and my heart drumming like a rock concert. If I didn't know better, I would say that it was trying to get out of my body.

No, my child! Stay inside! Daddy needs you!

The door suddenly slammed open as a known figure stood there, half-dressed with a stretched blue shirt that obviously belonged to my while her legs were bare.

"I heard screaming, what's going on?!" Komachi asked with a bewildered glance.

I looked up with my eyes wide in fear, and yet, another fact sunk in my mind.

I was back to my room.

Again.

For the third time already.

…

W-What's going on…?

* * *

 ** _As always, criticism is always welcome, whether is good or bad. BTW, there are no prizes for guessing what this fic will be about. :3_**

 ** _I bid farewell for now. Take care of yourselves :D !_**


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